Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Word came down the hall...


I have just been informed via the proper authorities that i will be attending E3 this June. Expect pictures and blogging from the road as well as a report on the swag. My level of excitement is almost tantamount to my esteemed colleague Jon (pictured here) when we were at E for All in 2007. He will not be going with me.

*snicker*

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sexual Education in SPAAAAAACE!


This one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. Give it a read if you ever wanted to know what hooking up in space, Antarctica or on Mars would be like...

After this month's conference about arsenic-based life, it looks like there will be no Star Trek-esque hybrid children, though. At least not yet.

*hyper-cute Miss Martian by Chou-Roninx via deviantART

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Dawn of a New Adventure...

I'm following in the footsteps first pioneered by James Rolfe in his AVGN segment, but I think this is a seriously hardcore and air-tight concept.


In 1982 Atari started a contest to promote the release of four new games for their Atari 2600 Console entitled Swordquest. Each game was based on one of the four classic Greek elements (i.e. Earthworld, Fireworld) as well as having a room structure for each based on classical theological elements (The Zodiac, The Tree of Life, etc.) . The concept was that if players were smart enough to decipher the clues in each game they would be eligible for a prize that was custom made by Franklin Mint and valued at $25,000 in 1982 USD. The Earthworld contest had a prize of the"Talisman of Penultimate Truth". Fireworld's prize was "The Chalice of Light". Waterworld's prize was to be the "Crown of Life" and the last game, Airworld, was to have the prize of "The Philosopher's Stone". After these four contests were completed, the champion of each game would compete for "The Sword of Ultimate Sorcery".


Earthworld was released in October of 1982. it came with a gaming manual, cartridge, poster and comic book by DC Comics. Players were to solve the riddles in the game, find the associated clue in the comic book, submit their entry into the contest and pray that Atari would select them to be in the final competition. The final competition consisted of a variated version of Earthworld that the players would have to solve in 90 minutes. The final winner, Steven Bell, was given the Talisman of Penultimate Truth.

The second game, Fireworld, was released in February of 1983. Atari again had the contest but now had many more contestants this time around, so they held a secondary elimination round before Michael Rideout claimed the second treasure, The Chalice of Light.


Fate intervened before the third game's contest came to fruition however. The Video Game Crash of 1983 cause Atari to cancel the tournament at the last minute and the Crown of Life went unclaimed. Similarly, with the whole contest cancelled, The Philosopher's Stone and The Sword of Ultimate Sorcery faded into the echoes of Obscurity. $100,000 worth of treasure, lost for the ages.

Many people have wondered what became of the Lost Treasure of Swordquest. Some say it rests gathering dust in the basement of Atari. An undated picture floating around the internet seems to lead credence to this theory:


Another, more sinister theory stems from Atari's CEO Jack Tramiel.

Born in Poland in the 1920's, Tramiel spent his time during World War II in a garment Factory under German occupation. After being liberated, he emigrated to the US 1947, where he purchased a typewriter company in 1953. From this company he made various connections and founded Commodore Business Machine, which would eventually evolve into the computer producing company the name is known for. After sparking a price war that would leave some of his competitors bankrupt, Tramiel stepped down from Commodore, started his own company (again) and then purchased Atari Inc from Warner Communications. Tremiel decided to pull focus away from marketing and game budgeting leading to the downward spiral of Atari in the light of other consoles, such as the Nintendo Entertainment System. Some employees say that the work environment during this era was volatile and even go so far as to say their careers have been ruined by Tramiel and his sons.

The treasures of Swordquest is most likely in the possession of Jack Tremiel and his sons. But if they aren't, where are they? Are the original two treasures still in the hands of the winners? Have the five items of the trove ever been reunited since they were pulled from the forge in the early 1980's? Have they merely been melted down into a new toilet for Jack Tamiel?

These questions will haunt the original participants and subsequent gaming generations alike. Will we ever know the answers? Someone needs to find the truth. Someone needs to launch a NEW Swordquest...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Mmmm...Gaming Steak!


These pictures remind me of the steak-eating portion of Monster Hunter Tri. Right before some merciless giant bastard humiliates you.

*sigh*

Fuck, that game is hard. Stupid hard.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I Got Your Mystic Quest Right Here...

Painfully true and pretty hilarious, check this flowchart of any RPG.

Seems pretty timely considering that the craptastic "American" Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest became available this week for download on Nintendo's Virtual Console.

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...


At today's Mac event, Commandant Jobs unveiled some fairly lackluster updates.

Something about iPhoto. I don't really care since I happily use picasa and flickr. And if I were to pay for something to edit my photos, I would save up until I could afford to get Aperture.

Something about Garage Band, which, again, is boring as I don't play music. I don't even play Rock Band for that matter.

But there were a couple of hopeful glimmers.

Jobs dropped the bomb that they were working on their next OS system: Lion. The biggest advances seem to be aimed at bringing the functionality of an iPad back to the Mac. this means they want to be able to run full-screen apps and have multi-touch control for the macs. If they can incorporate this multitouch into the next generation of Macbook Pros with the Liquidmetal design, the proposed cooling patents and somehow keep the machine from becoming sentient and trying to destroy mankind, it should be a pretty solid machine. But it kind of seems that Jobs has painted himself into a corner with the name of the system. Lion? The king of the jungle? What will they call the next OS afterwards? Sabretooth? Tabby? Or will there be a shift to a new animal-avatar? "Presenting Mac OSX...Koala."

Steve also managed to sneak in his characteristic "Once last thing..." before closing out the hour-and-a-half long schpiel. A newly redesigned Macbook Air. What really caught my attention about these updated models was the complete abandonment of a hard-drive. As of late I have been warming up to Solid-state Drives as the future of storage on computers. They're faster, quieter, cooler, smaller and less prone to mechanical problems than regular disc-based hard-drives. The new Airs instead use flash memory as storage. Consequently they are only able to hold between 64 Gb and 256GB. In a world where Terrabyte storage is becoming more common place and the Petabyte is looming ever closer, this amount of storage is paltry at best. And also, it might just be my own personal experience with the program Flash, but the name itself brings to mind negative connotations. Time will tell if this system will be preferred over regular hardware found in the grown-up version of laptops, or if this was merely the bastard son of a drunken tryst between a Macbook and an iPad.

Overall, it was another bland entry of a Mac Event. I guess I'm just jaded against anything that isn't a mind-blowing hardware revelation. Guess I'll just have to wait until the next generation of workhorse.