Origin Story Vol 5.

5.
I had been scanning entertainmentcareers.net for months to get a feel for what I was qualified, vocationally speaking. The best I could do probably was entry level/assistant gigs or an internship. But since I had already done my unpaid internship in Austin, I was going to be greedy and apply for only paid internships.

To cover my bases I applied to a couple of temporary agencies in September: Exactstaff and Appleone. Exactstaff was a fucking rip: they had me come in early in the morning in business clothes, they wouldn't pay for parking and I had to take two hours worth of tests before being asked all the same questions again by my interviewer. At the end of this inquisition they told me they would be contacting me soon with work. I still have not heard back from them.

Appleone was a different story. After Exactstaff I forwent the temporary agency and applied directly for jobs as listen on Monster and Entertainment. I received a call from Appleone acting as an agent for one of the listings for which I blindly applied. It turns out their office was in Marina Del Rey, which didn't sound that far away from K-town. Once again, I'm retarded. So I went down to Apple a couple of times to take tests and whatnot. They were actually pretty nice to you as well as easy on the eyes (all female staff). A few weeks later they landed me a week long gig before I landed my current job.

For about a month straight I averaged between two and five interviews a week. Some of them were for entry jobs and some for internships. The two best internship interviews were for the Mark Bass talent agency and Metropolitan talent agency. Mark Bass' office is located in this hyper-sweet high-rise in Beverly Hills. It's one of those offices with all white everything, contemporary art and furniture and everyone working there is very well dressed and own a Blackberry. Yay toys! So when I went into the interview I met with a guy who was probably three years older than me but very cool. We conversed very congenially about the company, my career goals, and the usual bullshit. During the course of all this however, it came out that this internship would be full time (8-6) and unpaid, despite listing on Entertainment as paid. The dude and I agreed that this whole interview had very well, despite his inexperience, and he would bounce it off of Mark Bass himself and that, barring any further applicants, it looked like I had the job. They never called me back.

The Metropolitan interview was sweeter. Their office is located in this sweet older-looking building on Wilshire a couple of blocks away from the Los Altos Apartments & Hotel, know to you and me as the Hyperion Hotel from Angel (tee hee). That gig was indeed paid along with reimbursement for mileage. The sweetest part of the whole deal? Metropolitan is a hybrid agency that represents actors, models and writers. That means that, as an intern, I would get to read scripts and do coverage for them (I love doing that), as well as sleep with models! They never called me back.

I had a few interviews for entry-level jobs of varying degrees of suckage. One job (Breakdown Services) consisted of scanning in photos through Photoshop and posting them onto their website. Mind-numbingly boring, 20+ miles away from my apartment, 30 hours a week max and an inflexible schedule, I decided to pass on this one, despite the interviewer's strong-arming.

The most ridiculous incident though, came through my submission to the Del Rey Agency, an agency that represents latino actors. I went into the interview to meet with an assistant to the boss/CEO, but in his absence I met with the CEO (there's only about 4 people in the company). We talked the usual bullshit and then things got weird. He started to compliment my looks and personality…a little unprofessional in my opinion. The position was 10 hours a day, six days a week. But when it came to pay, he blanked; he didn't know what the pay was going to be. The CEO then started talking about a guesthouse he wanted to rent out for around $1250 and how we could work out a deal for income payment and housing. I replied that I already had an apartment but apparently he wasn't listening. At the conclusion of the interview he stated that he would confer with his "money guy" and get back to me about how much pay would be for this job. I figured (read: hoped) this would be the usual scenario and I would never hear from these guys again.

Boy, was I fucking wrong.To follow up on the interview, hoping the pay would be huge (I mean if they are drug dealers or in the sex slave business imagine the cut) I called the agency back the next day at 10 a.m. No one was there…at 10 a.m.…on a weekday. So I went about my usual business for most of the day. I got a call back about 8 p.m. again from the CEO saying he hadn't heard from the "money guy" but he would get back to me the next day. About 18 hours later he calls me to say he had heard back and that he would like to meet with me to discuss the financial remuneration. This is where my own stupidity and their fucking craziness merge: he wanted to meet at his home that night to show me the guesthouse in which I would be living. I figured I'd be patient through his spiel, tell him I had already have a place (again), wait for an answer on pay and then give a yes or no on the job.

I showed up in street clothes because, I mean, fuck this guy. Seriously. He shows me the apartment/guesthouse: studio, raised bathroom, no overhead light except for a skylight and a stone's throw from his house. He claimed that I would be "in my own little world" with lots of privacy. I'm thinking: who the fuck does this guy think he is? He shows me around his property a little more. My little place would be next to his mother's. Fun. He then escorts me into his house to talk about the money. I start thinking about self-defense: go for joints, particularly the knees, the eyes, nose and, if necessary, the balls. We sit down in his living room and I hand him (per his request) my resume. He tells me more flattering bullshit about my resume and my looks and proceeds on that the pay would be $800…a month. The rent on the guesthouse, remember, is $1250. I told him I had a couple of interviews to follow through with and I would get back to him the following Monday. He called at 8 am Monday wanting an answer. I politely told him no. [On a related note: I tried finding this company online while writing this and was unsuccessful. They could have Keyser Soze-ed, but who really fucking cares?]

I continued with the hunt sending out blind emails to companies. I got a call back for a company I didn't remember applying to but gift horse's mouth, right? Before the interview I agreed to pick up a friend farther down the road thinking I'd have plenty of time. Nope. I had to call and say I was going to be late. In the end I was exactly on time, but I didn't know whom I was meeting. Just a girl…in a building. I got to the front office and had no clue where to go but we figured it out. I met with the girl who led me to a guy. The usual interview bullshit followed by: "We'll let you know by Tuesday." This was Thursday. The next day I got a call saying I was starting on Monday…at 5am.

I had found a job…but at what cost?